its been long since i update here.
but because i need some privacy, this is the place i need.
i feel so miserable now. really miserable.
we broke up.
and its my fault.
i was deleting the msgs on my phone and i saw the sms we exchanged in the past
he told me he missed me. he told me he loved me.
and now. he hates me.
so fucking upset now.
i really want to cry. but usually when i cry, he is around to wipe my tears.
but even if i cry all out now, i will still be alone in my room
i really miss him so much.
i want to hug him now and tell him how much i regretted my actions
and how much i still love him
i told myself repeat again and again.
"i dont love him, i am only used being with him"
BUT I KNOW I AM LYING TO MYSELF.
MY HEART HURTS SOOOOOO BADLY WHEN I MAKE MYSELF SAY THIS
CAUSE I STILL FUCKING LOVE HIM
and this mistake i made. i know i will regret it for life.
darling, i know you wont read this.
BUT I REALLY STILL FUCKING LOVE U SO MUCH
ITS KILLING ME REALLY. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!